The Start of My MBC Fight - 8/8/24

Where to even begin.... Well, for starters, I wanted to write this personally myself. This is my journey, my personal war. While it's my personal war, I know it's not me fighting alone. I have the loving support of many family, friends, work family and others by my side every step of the way and for that, I am forever grateful. Writing this myself is part of my healing journey, to share my story, right from the start.

Long post ahead, but I wanted to share the details, diagnosis, treatment plan and ways to support with everyone around me. This site will keep my family and friends updated on my journey over time, as well as different ways to support. I have included those at the end of this post.  Feel free to just skip down to the section on “Ways to Support” if you don’t want to read through everything – totally fine!

The Diagnosis:

On July 30th, 2024, my life changed forever. I found out I had breast cancer. My final diagnosis, after many tests, is Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer.  Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, HER2+, which is a fast growing, aggressive cancer.  It has spread to my liver and bones and I have multiple tumors throughout my body.  Thankfully, there are good treatments and medications out there for this type of cancer, but unfortunately it is not curable at a stage 4 level.  The doctors must tell me the worst-case scenario which is a median 5-year survival.  These statistics are what they tell everyone and are based on history, so I don’t like to stick to them as new treatments come out and people are living longer.  The reality is, I am fighting to live my life every single day and to live the longest life I can.  There is a 1-2% chance for deep remission.  There is also a 1% chance of women under 40 to be diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer.  If I can be the 1% who gets this terrible disease, I can be the 1-2% that goes into deep remission.  That is my goal and hope in all of this. 

How this all started:

Taking a step back to where this all started.  A few months ago, I started noticing a lump on my right breast getting massively bigger each week.  At the time I thought nothing much of it.  13 years ago I had a biopsy in this same area for a small lump that came back negative for breast cancer which turned out to be a fibroadenoma.  I just thought that fibroadenoma was getting bigger, but I wasn’t sure.  I had no other symptoms of breast cancer, no history of breast cancer in my family, I’m 34, I eat healthy everyday, very active and have a positive mentality about life.  I just thought there was no way it could be cancer.  It could never happen to me.  Don’t we tell ourselves that?  So, I was in no rush to schedule an appointment with the doctor but then one Monday morning I decided to get something scheduled with my primary care, which was on July 22nd, 2024.  There was an appointment that was open for the same day (which rarely happens), and I booked it. 

The doctor scheduled me for a mammogram and ultrasound that ended up being that same week on Friday, July 26th.  I have never done a mammogram before, as they don’t start those until the age of 40 – which is insane to me now.  But went through the mammogram, ultrasound and then they said they needed to biopsy a couple lumps in my breast and in my lymph nodes.  Fortunately, they were able to do the biopsy that same day, which I was thankful for so I didn’t have to wait much longer.  I do think the radiologist knew I had cancer but couldn’t tell me at that point in time. He just wanted to get that done.  I had asked him what he saw and asked if I had cancer and he goes, “possibly, but you’re young.’  Those words, his face and everything from that day has stuck with me. 

Waiting for the results to come back was excruciating.  I remember just a wave of emotions while I waited, just over thinking what that radiologist had told me.  Only 2 of my friends at the time knew what was going on.  My parents didn’t even know I had a lump, had tests done, anything like that, as I didn’t want to worry them as well.  I wanted to wait for the results.  I remember the nurse asking me if I wanted to have the results go to “MyChart” for me to read first or if I just wanted to wait for the doctor to call.  Of course I chose “MyChart,” which in hindsight was NOT a good choice, but I was sure I couldn’t have cancer.

So then the 30th came.  I was working from home, eating my lunch (which I can now never eat that same type of lunch again – EVER), and read the news on “MyChart.”  I think I blacked out, immediately was hot all over my body, looked at Obie and thought, I am going to die.  It was terrible and I wish this on no one ever.  I was home alone and the first thing I did was call my best friend, Kelsey.  I waited 2 more hours until the nurse called to share the details of the diagnosis.  The 2 lumps were positive and the 2 lymph nodes were positive for breast cancer – it was stage 3 that point.  She scheduled me with the oncologist on Friday, August 2nd, to go over my diagnosis.  That same night, I called my parents and sister to tell them virtually and then booked a flight for my parents to come up with me for my appointment that Friday. 

Everything happened so fast.  The news from the oncologist and surgeon that Friday seemed positive and hopeful.  They said I would get a very good response from the treatment and not to worry.  They did want me to still get a PET Scan and MRI though to see if it had spread any further throughout my body.  My MRI was on Sunday, August 4th, and PET was on Monday, August 5th.  Monday was a very rainy day in Minnesota, it was pouring and very fitting for the news we were going to receive from the doctor that same day.  My parents and I were in the Costco parking lot when the doctor called to share that there were multiple tumors in my liver and bones and it was stage 4.  My heart dropped in to my stomach at that moment.  It was devasting. We got home and I just hugged and cried with my parents. 

We met back with the oncologist on Wednesday, August 7th to go over the results and final treatment plan.  I ended up getting an Echo of my heart the same day, which came back normal (a win!), and they sped up my first treatment so that I don’t end up going into liver failure, as my liver is not functioning well from the tumors.  I still need a brain MRI to see if the cancer has spread to my brain and a biopsy of my liver to confirm that it is the same cancer that is in my breast.  So, two more big tests to get through which are Saturday, August 10th and Monday August 12th.  I will have port surgery on Friday, August 16th and genetic testing done to see if I have the marker for the high-risk breast cancer gene.  They measured all my blood levels and the cancer antigen 15-3 which came back at a value of 727 which is incredibly high but expected of course.  They will use this marker as well as the PET scan after a few rounds of treatment to understand my progress and response.  The oncologist did not want to share the images of the PET scan with me.  I don’t need those negative images in my head and I am thankful she didn’t. 

My Treatment:

Thankfully, I start my first chemo treatment on Friday, August 9th.  The next one after that will be on Monday, August 19th and then every week after, for 12 weeks.  Every week I will receive Paclitaxel and every 3 weeks I will receive the HER2 targeted drugs, Pertzumab/Perjeta and Trastuzumab/Herceptin.  I will be on the HER2 drugs for 1 year at least and evaluate over time.  I will lose my hair of course, starting just 2-3 weeks into treatment, but the good news is it should start growing back after the 12 weeks of weekly treatment.  The plan is to also do surgery, a mastectomy or lumpectomy, of one or both breasts, depending on my results.  I will however, need to still be on some sort of treatment for the rest of my life. 

They are prescribing me medicine to keep my bones strong as I could fracture them easily.  I have been having pain in my side and some pain in my bones every now and then.  Although my treatment is starting tomorrow (wrote this on 8/8), it can’t come fast enough.  They also prescribed good sleep medication as getting good sleep every night during treatment will be very beneficial.

My treatment is scheduled at the M. Health Fairview Medical Center in Edina, MN.  15-20min from where I live which is great.

The nurses, doctors, oncologists and surgeons have been so amazing and incredible throughout this process.  I absolutely love my oncologist, Dr. Kiran Lassi, she has 21+ years’ experience, is very knowledgeable, kind and supportive.  I trust the care and treatment I’m receiving and couldn’t be in better hands.  My medical team is on top of things and have moved so quickly for me and taken a lot of the burden off my back for all these appointments. I am so grateful for this. 

How I am doing:

I am shocked, overwhelmed, exhausted, terrified, sad, angry, all the emotions, all the above.  These appointments have really taken it out of me.  BUT I am hanging in there, taking it one day at a time and trying to stay positive and hopeful.  I know I am very strong, will get through this and beat this!  I know this will be a lifelong marathon and not a sprint.  My goal is to live as normally as I can, enjoy life, focus on my health and spend time with the people I love.  Everyday is a gift and each day I feel good will be a huge win.  At some point, when it is supposed to happen, I will process this news and go through healing and acceptance.  That time has not yet come. 

In all this, I like to focus on the wins – The cancer has not spread to my lungs (a win!), my blood levels all looked normal outside of sodium and liver (a win!), my heart seems to be in great shape (a win!), the chemo they provide said should have minimal side effects (a win!), and insurance will cover a really nice wig for me (a win!).  Don’t be surprised if I become crazy wig lady!

It goes without saying, but I know I am not alone in this.  It helps to know that others are going through the same thing (as shitty as it is), and there is comfort in hearing the positive stories of fighters and survivors, going through something similar.  There is a big community out there of hope and strength, that I am leaning into and will further do so as things progress with my treatment.  My focus on “why me” has turned into “why us” and now the focus is fighting for a cure for all of us affected by cancer. 

My personal ask for all of you is to be advocates for your own health and not wait for that appointment or test.  You notice something, go get it checked no matter how big or small.  My other ask is that you hug your loved ones tight and you tell everyone how much they mean to you, because you never know what could happen in this thing called life.

My Support System:

The biggest win of all is the fact I am surrounded by so many friends and family that love and care for me, a community that I know will keep growing as I move forward. 

First my family – my mom is with me now and will live with me during treatment.  She was able to get approval to work remotely in Minnesota from New Mexico, which is amazing.  My dad will be flying out once a month to visit over time and my sister will visit as much as she can.  Since my family lives in New Mexico, they are giving up a lot to be here with me in my own home during treatment, which means a lot to me.  Specifically, my parents, who will now be away from each other majority of the time is additionally hard, but my mom said she wouldn’t have it any other way.  I truly have the best parents and couldn’t thank them enough. So grateful to have their love and support by my side through this everyday.  Obie, my fur baby is by my side everyday (maybe a little too much), as he gives great cuddles, puts a smile on my face and brings me joy.  He has been following me around like a hawk! – but dogs can sense when someone has cancer and I think he is aware of what is going on.  My family is the best.  I do also want to mention my huge extended family across the country – MI, NM, NC, etc. all their love and support means so much. 

My Friends – I am surrounded by so many loving friends.  My friends have taken the burden off me by doing research on healthy meals, providing resources on everything, being a listening ear, spending time with me and sharing updates when I don’t have the energy to.  I couldn’t be more grateful for the support system of friends that I have.  You bring me the light and joy I need on a daily basis.

My Work Family – The outpouring of support of so many friends and family at General Mills has been incredible.  My team and manager have stepped in to cover for me.  Everyone just wants me to focus on my health and that work will always be there.  Knowing this just takes a huge burden off my back from having to think about work and just focus on my health right now.  So appreciative of everyone at General Mills, the support system I have there and the continued work to take things off my plate.  Couldn’t work for a better company.

Everyone else – support just flowing in from everyone – means so much! Thank you!

Lastly, I just want to say how much you all mean to me. I love and care about the people in my life and I don’t tell them enough. 

We will fight this together. 

Love, Stacy