First Treatment - 8/9/24

Giving an update on my first treatment today. These drugs are making me feel restless and so I'm putting my energy into writing. For my closer friends who know me, they know I am already somewhat restless on an ongoing basis, as I like to be productive and doing things, so these drugs just increase that tenfold!

My first treatment today was a success! We got there at 8am with multiple bags of stuff to prepare ourselves for these visits each week. I did a quick breathwork meditation in the car before heading in. The nurse Emily was incredible, and all the staff at M. Health Fairview Cancer Center in Edina were so great, I couldn't have asked for better care. I left feeling very proud of myself, feeling pretty good actually and comfort in knowing I have new friends from everyone I met today that I can continue to see weekly moving forward.

They started by giving me some Benadryl and Tylenol so that my body can handle the new toxins of drugs going in my system. I was given Perjeta first for about an hour, which went pretty smootly. I was pretty drugged up on benadryl so the first one was a bit of a blur. Then next drug they gave me was Herceptin, which was also going to be for an hour. They were sending these drugs into my system very slowly as my body needs to adjust to everything going in.

About 10min into the Herceptin, I started feeling immense chest pain, like someone was stepping on my chest. I could breathe but I felt like I couldn't breathe at the same time. In a matter of seconds, about 6 nurses rushed in to support and give me medicine to ease the pain. I was in so much discomfort during this time, but had a care team and my mom right by my side. I was having a reaction to one of the drugs. They ended up putting a couple medicines through my veins, which was more Benadryl and some other medicine that I forgot. I started shaking uncontrollaby and felt a wave of anxiety rush over me. This is the moment that things started to feel so real and I broke down crying. I told everyone, "I feel so sad." Feeling those emotions was really painful, as I don't deserve this, no one should have to endure this. The medicine had started to kick in, the nurses were there the whole time supporting me with kind words and I started to slowly feel better. I believe the cancer was trying to fight back, but you know what, I will fight back harder.

It took about another 45min for me to feel back to "normal," and when I did start to feel better, I was so grateful. It is amazing what they can do to make you feel better when you're in a bad place! They wanted to keep moving forward with the drugs and so did I, but I was scared I would have the pain again. They went more slowly this time and no pain. Increased it over time and no pain. I was moving forward successfully. The nurse said at one point, "You're so calm." I have been doing breathwork and meditation on a daily basis for a long time, and I believe this helps me stay calm and strong in situations like this.

The last drug they gave me was Taxel, which is standard chemo and attacks full body vs. the other two targeted treatments. This is the drug that will make me lose my hair and also has the worst side effects. I took in this drug with flying colors, no problem, no pain. The nurse said I would see more side effects the day or two after the chemo, so preparing for when that might happen.

After 7 hours later, we were able to go home. I gave a hug to my nurse Emily and thanked everyone for the care they gave me today. I didn't feel alone, and my heart has gotten bigger from today. I am so thankful for my mom by my side, my friend Steve who showed up to visit me, my friends Kevin and Kelsey for pit stopping at my home real quick to let Obie out on a walk (or run as Obie pulls Kevin with a stick in his mouth around the block) and everyone around me for the love and support today.

I got home and started cleaning and organizing of course (restlessness is so fun). I am feeling good after today and that is a big win! I know there will be days ahead that I don't feel good, so appreciating today.

This was a step in the right direction, progress on this journey of mine and I will continue to fight.

I have my Brain MRI tomorrow morning and my Liver Biopsy on Monday. Please pray for good results these next few days!